TOASTS AND SPEECHES

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Montreal Weddings would like to give you a few pointers and inspire you for you to give a successful wedding toast.

The Engagement Party : After the guests have assembled, the father of the bride proposes a toast to his daughter. Her fiancé, the groom, answers with a toast to the bride and her family. Other toasts follow.

Bachelor Party : The groom presents the toast to the bride and everyone raises their glasses with some going so far as to break the glass so that it may never be used for a less worthy cause.

Bachelorette Party : The bride proposes a toast to the groom and everyone raises their glasses.

Rehearsal Dinner : First is the customary salute to the couple by the best man. The groom then follows with a toast to the bride and his new in-laws, and then the bride toasts the groom and his family. Others may follow as they wish.

Reception : The wedding toast is traditionally given by the best man. He talks of how you both met and a few words about the hopes you have for your future. At the end of the toast he raises his glass and toasts to you, and all guests raise their glasses and join in the toast. You place your arm through the groom's and both drink. The locking of arms signifies the intertwining of your new lives. The groom may then respond by thanking the best man and toasting the bride, his new in-laws and his parents. The bride then adds her own toast honoring the groom and his family, and thanking her parents.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL SPEAKER AND GIVE A SUCCESSFUL WEDDING TOAST?

If you plan to speak in public, regardless of how brief the speech or toast is to be, cultivate the art; inform yourself on your subject and present your thoughts briefly, clearly, with a smile upon your face, and a most sincere heart.

To be a successful speaker, here are a few suggestions that are good to know:

  1. The first and most important rule is to be brief. The man or woman who has "a message to deliver" need only speak a few simple words of human interest to be assured he/she will never lack an audience.
  2. The success of a speech on any occasion depends on whether the speaker has something to say, or whether you merely have to say something.
  3. Be careful of too flamboyant of an oratory style. Shakespeare advises: "Do not saw the air too much with your hands." Unless a gesture helps to emphasize your idea, it is best to omit it. If the words of the speaker are easy and their expression is pleasant, that is all that is needed by the audience.
  4. Make your voice clear and easily heard.
  5. Be careful not to talk above the heads of your audience.
  6. If your speech is of the after-dinner variety, it must not contain too much wisdom. Your audience expects to be entertained, not instructed.
  7. Deliver your words in a way that is most comfortable to you. If you can be seen by everyone in the room, you may stay seated.
  8. Be prepared. If you know you are a likely candidate to give a speech or short toast, memorize or write a few ideas down before you arrive at the festivities.
  9. Make certain that the toast or speech you are delivering is appropriate to the group.
  10. Remember, you are the center of attention while speaking. Not only your words, but your appearance, expression, and attitude are on display. Remember, too, that you are a friend who was asked to share a very special moment and that one of the most popular toasts of all time was written for you alone: "Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff and nudge me when I've said enough!"

SPEECHES ON MARRIAGE & COMMITMENT

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Divine wedlock: This has been described as two people growing both individually and in unity until they become what they were meant to be together. That is my wish for both of you - that you may reach your greatest heights together, committed to each other and to your marriage. I like the way the president of a large university illustrates marriage. He says it is more than sharing each other's home, money, and children. It is the inner conviction that all roads lead home. Some days are going to be more difficult than others, but if you leave the airplane's escape hatch open because you think even before take-off that you may want to bail out in mid-flight, then I can assure you it is going to be a pretty chilly trip in less than fifteen minutes after leaving the ground. To make a marriage fly, close the door, strap on those seat belts, and give it full throttle. This same college president relates an experience when he was first married. He and his wife put everything they owned into their car, headed to a large university - two nameless, faceless, aimless undergraduates - seeking their place under the sun. Before school started, they walked by the president's house when the student became completely overwhelmed with the challenge of a new marriage, new life, new education, no money, and no confidence. Turning to his new bride and fighting back tears, he asked, "Do you think we can do this? Have we made a mistake? Should we give up? Can we compete with all of these people who know so much more than we do and are so capable?". And then he said, "I guess that was the first time I saw what I would see again and again in her: the love, the confidence, the staying power, the careful handling of my fears." She must have been terrified herself, but she said, "Of course, we can do it!" But, you know what is the best part of that story? Years later when he was president of that university, they would stand on the south patio of the president's home and look at exactly the same spot where two frightened students had once stood fighting back tears. He said they would stand there on days that had been most challenging and remember. He didn't say that everything that was scary and hard went away with the years. There were days of still feeling fearful, but they had closed the door, strapped on the seat belt, and given it full throttle. Love is like that. It will temper and refine us, but it will not consume us. Marriage will temper and refine us, and take us to the greatest heights if we will let it. May yours touch the stars.

Judy Macfarlane

WEDDING TOASTS

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To the bridal couple:

"May all of your troubles be little ones."

To the bridal couple from friends:

"Health to you,
Wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.
May fortune still be kind to you
And happiness be true to you,
And life be long and good to you,
Is the toast of all your friends to you."

To the bride from the groom:

"Grow old with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life,
For which, the first is made." Robert Browning

To the groom from a friend:

"To your good health, old friend,
may you live for a thousand years,
and I be there to count them." Robert Smith Surtees

From the parents:

"It is written:
'When children find true love, parents find true joy.'
Here's to your joy and ours, from this day forward."
"Nothing is worth more than this day." Goethe

To Mother

"All that I am or hope to be,
I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

"No other worship abides and endures,
Faithful, unselfish, and patient, like yours." Elizabeth Akers Allen

"Blessed are the mothers, for they have combined the practical and the spiritual into one workable way of human life. They have darned little stockings, mended little dresses, washed little faces, and have pointed little eyes to the stars and little souls to eternal things." William L. Stidger

"Oh, the love of a mother, love which none can forget." Victor Hugo

"A mother is the truest friend we have. When trials, heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." Washington Irving

To Father:

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." Mark Twain<

"Dad, you couldn't have done it better. You are actually pretty amazing, especially because I'm fully aware of the demanding brat I was." John Travolta

"My father told me the key to financial success was to have only one credit card." Bruce Currie

"My father has given me the greatest treasure a father can give - a piece of himself." Suzanne Chazin

"Dear Dad, It is hard sometimes for a man to say this to another man, but I love you very much - always have, always will." George Bush

To the parents:

"I think this is going to work. You can redecorate my room!" Michael Macfarlane

To the bride and groom:

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings." Hodding Carter

"I have found the best way to give advice to my children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."Harry S Truman

To the friends and family:

"A greeting to all of our friends and family:
you are always welcome in our house.
Please call before you come." Michael Macfarlane

To the bride from her sister:

"May you always be as happy as you are today.
May you always be as beautiful as you are today.
May I have your white sweater?" Michael Macfarlane

"You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you." Desmond Tutu

"Health and happiness."

"Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success." Henry Ford

"Always remember to forget the trouble that passes away, but never forget to remember the blessings that come each day."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller

"Nothing is worth more than this day." Goethe

"Here's to you who halves my sorrows and doubles my joys."

"There is no scientific answer for success. You can't define it. You've simply got to live it and do it." Anita Roddick

"A toast to love and laughter and happily ever after."

"I wish you all things good and wonderful."